I recently re-watched the Bo Burnham “Welcome to the Internet” song from a few years ago. Here’s a snippet of the lyrics (it’s a bop by the way).
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
In a lot of ways, this feels like an advertisement for my brain (and maybe your brain?). Maybe the internet is really just a reflection of ourselves and our constant, unending search for answers and meaning? Moving on…
I don’t know how your brain works, but my brain is like an incessantly beating drum of thoughts, ideas and feelings. Absent the weight of distraction, my brain will float away and put on the weirdest, most random movie you’ve ever seen (free will much?). It’s like the screenwriter made 10 completely different scripts for the director, who decided to roll a dice after each scene to determine which script to pull from for the next scene. And I’m strapped into my seat. I have to watch the show. And sometimes, it’s actually pretty damn entertaining.
Last Friday evening, I went to Jewish services at the Chabad in downtown Salt Lake City. There’s many things I’d like to say about Judaism in general, but one of the main reasons I go is because I know there won’t be any distractions. Sitting amongst the other Jews, old and young, in a chapel where men and women are separated, with the prayer book in front of me turned to the wrong page and my phone back in my car, my mind wanders. And you might think that the environment around me would influence my thoughts. Nope. Instead, my brain decided that right now was as good a time as ever to consider the very important question: what are the physics of someone who jumped off a tall building and landed straight-legged (don’t worry, I wasn’t thinking of me)? Sitting there, I thought about how the compressive force imparted from the ground would be transferred to the longitudinal axis of the femur, causing strain past the ultimate deformation the bone could handle and result in a compressive fracture/crunch. And considering how the rate of applied force might cause different fracture patterns in the bone, yada yada yada. Looking over at me, the rabbi probably thought I was pondering something deep about the current prayer but nope, I was visualizing how rolling upon a fall decreases the change in velocity imparted to your body. Kind of fun, right?!
But other times, it feels like a burden. Like when I’m out in nature and can’t just enjoy my surroundings because my brain is fixated on every little thing I did wrong on that date I went on last week. Or when I’m trying to fall asleep, but my brain is too busy thinking about every single thing that could go wrong on my trip in a month. Or early in the morning on my drive to work when my brain decides that right now is a good time to think about my ex. Usually the burdens come when my logical brain decides to apply its logic based approach to emotional issues. Analyzing and rationalizing things that shouldn’t/can’t be.
But for better or worse, I’m stuck with this brain and, until Neuralink allows me to beam my consciousness into the Metaverse, I’ve got to make the most of it. This Substack, and perhaps a bit of meditation, are the only two things I’ve tried that seem to give me some control back. To give me a say about when the brain drum is allowed to beat (meditation for that) and what rhythm it beats to (Substack for that). I’m hoping that if I put my brain down on digital paper, maybe the thoughts won’t need to be stored in my brain anymore? Maybe I’ll actually form some concise opinions? Or maybe it will give me a some peace of mind, literally.
A symptom of this condition of mind is having a lot of interests and hobbies. I love being outside and traveling. Running, snowboarding, climbing, biking, pickleball, etc. I’ve gotten into bow hunting (deer and elk this year). I love interacting with people and learning about their stories/thoughts. I love history of all kinds, but especially military history. I pretty closely follow politics, for the comedy and the tragedy. I love rockets and space. I have a Youtube channel. I identify as a cultural and secular Jew, yet want to learn more about Jewish law. I love emo rock, but have found a soft spot for country. My favorite movie is Good Will Hunting and I think the scene by the pond is the greatest in movie history.
Anywho, I’m excited to share my brain with you. God knows it’s enough for me.